Jackson's Birth Story and how it inspired me to follow the 15 things to not do in 2015.

I was finally motivated tonight to sit down and write Jackson's birth story after reading this great article I read:

15 Things to stop doing in 2015 

Number  2 in the list of 15 things to stop doing in 2015 is "Quit comparing yourself to others".
What does this have to do with my birth story, you might ask? It all has to do with the kind of birth I wanted to have, and what I got instead.

I have been told by new moms and nurses to NOT have a birth plan written down. Multiple nurses told me that the majority of women who walk into the delivery room with a birth plan more often than not end up having a completely different experience than what they wanted.

So, naturally I refused to write out a birth plan. I did do a ton of research though on the different kinds of births I could attempt to plan. I listened to birth stories from "Mommy friends" whom I know and trust to get some ideas of what might be right for me.

I have an old friend from middle school who had a beautiful water birth story and other acquaintances who also swear by the benefits of having a water birth. Since being in the bath tub has always provided pain relief and relaxation for me in the past, I decided that a water birth was the way to go for me. The more research Ross and I did on having a water birth, the more we started to agree to having me labor in the tub, but have the baby out of the tub in the end and let gravity do most of the work.

I went to my birthing class held by Summa Health Systems, and they strongly encouraged trying to labor without an epidural or any kind of drugs for as long as possible, if not the whole way through. This was my next plan. Every women I have ever talked to who has had a natural childbirth wear their stories as a badge of honor and make any woman who gives into the pain and has an epidural sound like a wimp or even a coward - how dare we even think about taking drugs to relieve pain when it's not good for our babies?!

Number 3 of 15 Things to stop doing in 2015: Stop caring what others think about you!

My mom, who knows me better than anyone (besides my husband), knows how God-awful my pain tolerance is. On a scale of 1-100, I might be a 15, lol. Don't get me wrong, I am brave, most things just tend to hurt me physically no matter how much I try to bite the bullet.

When I told my mom I would be going natural, she told me I was crazy and that pain medicine had been invented for people just like me- those who had no pain tolerance no matter how hard they tried.

By the end of my pregnancy, I was in so much pain that I wished I could get an epidural just to get me through to the end. I finally let go of the idea of having a natural child birth after all. My plan was just to try to see how far I could get on my own. I kept thinking about all of the moms before me who were able to have a natural childbirth and I really wanted to be able to have the same bragging rights. But the whole point of having a water birth or natural birth is for how good it is supposed to be for the baby, not you...

When my water broke on November 25th, 2014, I wasn't in pain yet. I was relieved to finally be in labor, but scared for what lied ahead with labor. I called my OBGYN office and was told I could shower but needed to get my butt into Triage within two hours. Once in Triage, I was checked to make sure my water had actually broken, and it had. Yay! The sad thing is the two rooms with the birthing tubs were taken. So, that idea was the first to go when it came to my unwritten birth plan. I remember that the news was covering the buildings being burned in Ferguson, based on the Grand Jury verdict not to indict the police officer. I didn't want the day of my son's birth to be filled with those kinds of memories, so we just turned off the t.v. while we waited to be moved into the birthing room.

Once in my room, my first nurse wasn't very friendly. When I asked her if she could put my iv on the top of my hand due to problems I have had with an iv being placed on the side of my wrist, she tried putting the IV in the side of my wrist anyways. She said she hit some kind of block, had to take the needle out and try again (in the same place) on the other arm. I couldn't have the blood pressure cuff on the arm she messed up on because it was so painful when the cuff would puff up. This was not giving me peace of mind about the start to my baby's birth. Not to mention, the nurse was hardly speaking to Ross and I and seemed annoyed to be at work having to take care of us. Luckily she told me she got off at 7a.m. So after a few hours, she was gone. My mom had only labored for a few hours with both my brother and I, so after the first nurse left, I was disheartened that my child's birth would officially not be as quick as my mom's.

The next nurse on duty was amazing. She was the Mary Poppins of Nurses. She was insanely sweet and kind. Ross was already exhausted from having to come in to the hospital in the middle of the night, so he slept while I breathed through contractions on my own. Donna, my nurse, helped me breathe through contractions and was all-around amazing. I was given pitocin since I had yet to dilate and the contractions became extremely strong and painful.

One of my "rules" for my birth was "no students" and I wanted as few people in my room during the birth as possible. A student came in and introduced himself and asked if it was okay that he was present during the birth. I told him sure, then told Ross that he would not be welcome in the end and that he was to make sure that my wish was known.

Sadly though, I had still not dilated at 2.p.m. that day. My contractions began slowing down, and I had to have the pitocin increased to try and get them going again since my water had already broken. One of the Doctors on duty came in and told me that I might not even have my baby that day! I was starting to lose heart. I was having an extremely hard time breathing all the way to the end of my contractions, and Donna suggested that it might be time to consider the epidural.

The nurse running my birthing class strongly encouraged a natural birth so that we could walk around and allow the baby to drop down naturally with gravity. But I was not having an easy time walking and going to the bathroom. I agreed to an epidural after my nurse told me that although going drug free is good for baby, so is a non-stressed momma. I had to do what was best for me and the baby, no matter how someone else might judge me for it.

I was extremely glad Ross was allowed to stay with me while I was getting the epidural. Depending on who is administering the medicine that day, sometimes the Dads are not allowed to be in the room during the epidural. I was told not to move, and the moment the needle went into my spine, I jolted slightly. I asked if I messed anything up by moving, and the anesthesiologist assured me I hadn't. When she asked me if I was becoming numb on both sides of my body, I told her I felt the numbing on my left side more than my right. She asked if I wanted her to take it out and redo it, I thought no way am I going through that again! I hate needles and was dripping sweat because I was so nervous about having a giant needle shoved into my spine. Before I knew it the epidural kicked in, and I was hardly feeling the contractions at all. I was given a catheter, and I finally started dilating more and more every time I was checked. My epidural wore off the right side of my body and I started having trouble breathing through the contractions again. The anesthesiologist returned to give me a type of refill, and my right side became a bit numb again, but still not as numb as my left side.

Around 5p.m. multiple women on my floor were ready to push at the same time. Most of the nurses were called to help with the delivery, and my nurse, Donna, was called to help the woman in labor next door to me. I was assured she would be back in time for my delivery. But all of a sudden, I began to feel the urge to push. The nurse that had stepped in had the student fetch my OB to see if I was ready. Sure enough, I was 10cm. Ross grabbed one leg, and the student that I had told Ross would not be allowed in my room, had the other leg.

It turned out the student was a super sweet guy who held my hand after my epidural had worn off and counted for Ross while I pushed and breathed through the contractions. They hurt. The nurse who stepped in for Donna turned out to be just what I needed. She was tough with me and helped me keep pushing when I was ready to give up at the end of the counting. The three of them made the perfect team. Sometimes we think we know what we want, but then we get what we need instead (isn't that a song? ;) ).

My OBGYN came in and took over. I had been told that I would have to push for around three hours, and I thought  "The Hell I will"! I pushed for an hour and a half. My little team was so proud of me. The baby was in a bit of distress and I couldn't finish pushing him out quickly enough though I was so close, so they had to use a Vacuum. My original birth plan consisted of no c-section, no vacuum or forceps, and no episiotomy. Lucky me, I had to be cut, and I could feel it. They gave me a little shot to numb me for the episiotomy, but I was not a happy lady. Hearing my baby cry for the first time was the best part. Sadly, I didn't get to hold him for what felt like forever because this whole team from the NICU had to come in and check him since he was taken out by vacuum.

I was finally able to do skin-to-skin for a bit, and then our family came to visit. We were both very appreciative of everyone who was able to come and visit our son for the first time. Looking back now the only thing I would have chosen to do differently is have Ross get to hold the baby before everyone came in. But my sweet hubby was so very excited to introduce him to everyone, that he called our family and our loved ones were already on their way. I just said oh well, enjoyed everyone getting to see him and hold him for the first time. I felt badly that I wasn't very talkative, but man, I had been up since 1a.m. that day, and it was a super long and painful day of laboring. Our family members were super sweet to hop right over to see our son and they should all know we both feel blessed to have such a loving and caring family. 

At that point, it was 10p.m. and I just couldn't wait to sleep. I was very thankful that my sister and mom both noticed how exhausted I was and gave us kisses and said goodnight. We were so happy they all came to visit, but I was ready to try and get some sleep. 

The student I mentioned earlier rolled me in my bed to my recovery room. He told me he was so amazed but how well I pushed for an hour and a half without taking one break. I pushed with every single contraction. I was so proud of myself. I had proved to myself that I could literally push through the pain. My epidural had pretty much worn off at the end, so I sort of had the natural birth I was hoping to have after all. 

When we got to our recovery room, our baby still hadn't been bathed yet. We had to wait for him to have a bath before we could go to sleep. I was given pain medicine, and helped to the bathroom for the first time. Then, I had to show the nurse that I could walk on my own to the bathroom. We were told that Jackson would be bathed soon, but over an hour and a half went by and we were so exhausted and becoming irritable after hitting the 24 hour mark that we had been awake. When we asked if he would be getting a bath soon, the nurse on duty snapped at us and told us they had more important things to do. We were not very happy about being talked to like that after midnight with all we had just been through. Finally, after 1a.m. another nurse came in to bathe our baby. 

I had the hardest time trying to sleep that first night because I kept checking to see if the baby was breathing. Silly, I know. Finally, Ross told me to send the baby to the nursery so that i would have peace of mind that he was being watched while I slept. The rest of the story I will save for another post since this part has been long enough. ;) 

We love our little bundle of joy and are so blessed to go into this new year with our son. My birth has taught me that life will not always go according to plan. Having a baby changes everything, but it is a change that we welcome and are blessed to have.

I look forward to this new year. I encourage you to look at the 15 things to not do in 2015.  

Happy New Year!