Baby Talk

So I guess I should start by saying, this is going to be a bit personal and a bit raw. Why that still may surprise some ppl that I write about how I feel is beyond me. I am an English major. I have been taught about great writers who tell stories that are honestly about themselves hidden in the lives of fictitious characters.

But I am not a fictitious character.

Some of the blogs that I really enjoy are ones when the blogger is real, open, down to earth and honest. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it. It's so simple. But we often forget our paths are own on, and we cannot compare our paths to other people's paths.

With that said, I am going to talk about the baby discussion.

Let's face it, you can't get on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Blogger, Pinterest, or whatever social media without pictures and stories all about people's children posted everywhere. Talk about oversharing. Total strangers, acquaintances, friends, family and coworkers all know about your child's pink eye, flu, first time going on the potty, new outfit, trip to the zoo, pics with grandma, adorable hair bow, halloween costume, baptism, injuries, heartbreaks, you name it! If it happens, big or little, you post it online for the world (or your followers) to know about.

Before I was married, I was told there is this secret little divider line, an imaginary club b/w the married and unmarried women. They view each other differently. It's honestly based on personal view how one side sees the other, but there is just some unwritten view there. For instance, before I was married, my family never took my relationships seriously until I was engaged. And I have been in just a couple long term relationships, and handful of shorter ones throughout my dating experience. It's almost as if I felt sometimes like married women didn't trust me as long as I was "on the market" still. Once I was engaged, I could see the difference in some women I knew. It was like, "few, I don't have to worry about her now." For some of us, there is no difference b/w how we see other women, married or not. But for others, we might not even realize that we treat and view the two sides completely differently.

Is it a jealousy thing? Perhaps in some cases. This goes for some sides of the spectrum. How many women are themselves, or know someone who is not that confident in themselves? Do you envy someone else for their looks, career, talents, etc?

I have only been married for one month as of tomorrow, and I feel different now that I am married. But a new line is being drawn. Now that I am married, there is a baby line.

Engaged

I have friends on all spectrums. I have friends who have kids but are no longer married, those who are married and have yet to have kids, those who are still single, those who are engaged, those who are married with kids, those who are married and trying, and those who are married and happy with not having kids at all. We all have different paths. Sometimes what works for one person will not work for another, and vice versa.

Now that my husband and I are married, we have been talking about the future and when and if we want to grow our family. Sure, we just got married, but we have been together for over 4 years now, and I am 28 years old.

Wedding Day

I have worked with kids for as long as I can remember. We're talking maybe at 12yrs. old I started babysitting. I was a Nanny and preschool teacher for years. I have always loved kids. But I don't have any of my own yet because I have been "responsible".

One of the toughest things for me right now is to watch parents who don't want their children around as much as possible, cannot afford their children, and yet they have more than they can handle. And here I am, someone who would love them and enjoy their presence in my life, only to have to wait for the "right" time. Has anyone else had that "when the time is right" "when we have enough money" "when things are in order". Blah Blah BLAH! Line?

It's just hard. I am not a patient person. I wish I was, but it apparently just does not come naturally to me. I always said that I didn't want to be 30 or over when I had kids, especially just having my first one. But life happens, and here I am, waiting.

We have things to get in order, so I have to wait. Sure, I am a newly wed, but something about that number 3-0 scares the heck out of me. Because then you have to wait even LONGER to have kids. I don't want to be a parent who doesn't have the energy to be a part of their child's life.

But then again, I have talked to people who have told me that having kids changes everything. To enjoy time alone first. What do you think I have been doing for the past 4 years? Sigh.

That's the thing though, everyone has what they consider the "perfect time" for everything. How long to wait before you get engaged, how long an engagement should be, how long to be married before you have kids, and what order those all happen in. But we all have to do what works best in our own lives.

So who knows, for now, I will wait. I suppose that "when the time is right" (though I have also been told there is never a "right" time), then it will happen if it is supposed to. In the meantime, people might wonder a little less why I love my cat so much. ha. My husband got her to tide me over from wanting children. It's working out real well. ;)