If you couldn't tell, I decided to keep mum about my pregnancy until the second trimester. I did this for two reasons:
(Oh, and most women's bikini's cover less, so I don't even want to hear about my outfit in this shot, trust me, I was just at the beach!)
I have heard many times that the moment you stop trying to achieve something you have been struggling with, like conceiving, it will happen. It did! Though Ross immediately started googling whether or not I was really pregnant because the second lines were so faint. But everything we read basically said, "Suck it up sucker, she's pregnant!" Ha.
1. When you tell anyone you are pregnant, horror stories of pregnancies gone wrong start flowing out of people's mouths. So basically, I was scared shitless to have any confidence in my pregnancy until I hit that "safe point" second trimester mark. Though technically, things can go wrong at any point in a pregnancy, so much for optimism, eh? But I also knew of friends and family who experienced tragedies, and was too afraid to get excited yet.
2. Most pregnancy books and articles I had read, explained that for all of the reasons above, it is safer to wait to announce until the second trimester, though they say it is always up to the couple to decide when it is right for them to share.
From the beginning my mom told me I read too much, but really, people will fill you in on their own with their own experiences. It wasn't anything I read that gave my anxiety about the "what ifs?". It was the "this is what happened to me" stories that had me on guard the entire first trimester.
So here is how my pregnancy story starts out. Ross and I had been trying for a couple of months. We made the decision that even though we were still newlyweds, we had taken much more time to move along down the path of life than most people, putting us much further in age of the starting to have children years. We didn't even meet until we were 24, dated for 5 years while we finished our degrees, and then the guy (finally) pops the question. I know you are just supposed to "live life" and not worry about a ticking clock or anything, but good ole Facebook sure does have a way of being like, hey, look at all of your friends and family who are already married with kids. Wow, you are farrrr behind. Oh, and they have been done with college forever.
But if I hadn't waited to get into the Dental Hygiene program, and taken the classes I did, I wouldn't have met some of my good friends with whom I met in college, or because I took the path I took. I wouldn't have met Ross at all. So, things happened the way they did and I am glad. But back to the pregnancy story. We decided we were ready, but each month that came and went with a negative result brought us more disappointment.
Don't get me wrong, Facebook didn't pressure me into a child bearing time clock, I have worked with children for many years and have been wanting to have one of my own now for a long time. Ross and I just wanted to wait until the time was right for us. It can be hard not to compare your own journey to others, but you always have to do things in your own time, when it's right for you. Everyone's story and journey is unique.
Don't get me wrong, Facebook didn't pressure me into a child bearing time clock, I have worked with children for many years and have been wanting to have one of my own now for a long time. Ross and I just wanted to wait until the time was right for us. It can be hard not to compare your own journey to others, but you always have to do things in your own time, when it's right for you. Everyone's story and journey is unique.
We decided to give up trying at the end of March when I took my last negative pregnancy test. I was so bummed again. I set the test down on the bathroom counter, and told Ross the news. He was bummed, but instead got me all pumped up for some time off trying.
I was going to get ripped for my friend's wedding in Siesta Key this summer, I was going to get drunk on fru fru drinks there. It would be a blast! So, I stuck with this high intensity training routine I had started that month. I had heard that working out was actually helpful when trying to conceive, but I was also hoping that if I could start a routine now, I could continue to exercise at full blast into pregnancy.
I was going to get ripped for my friend's wedding in Siesta Key this summer, I was going to get drunk on fru fru drinks there. It would be a blast! So, I stuck with this high intensity training routine I had started that month. I had heard that working out was actually helpful when trying to conceive, but I was also hoping that if I could start a routine now, I could continue to exercise at full blast into pregnancy.
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| My "before" picture as I started High Intensity Training has become my "before pregnancy" picture. |
Fast forward a couple of hours that day we had decided to take a break...
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| Ta Da! Surprise! |
I have heard many times that the moment you stop trying to achieve something you have been struggling with, like conceiving, it will happen. It did! Though Ross immediately started googling whether or not I was really pregnant because the second lines were so faint. But everything we read basically said, "Suck it up sucker, she's pregnant!" Ha.
The joke was on us, we thought we were done, and really, our journey had just begun. This post is long enough for today, but bump pictures are soon to follow.
